As I am in the process of organizing another defence seminar I notice some people hamper their self defence ability by focussing on the size and strength of the assailant. How we feel has much to do with what we focus on. One of the biggest differences between a beginner and an expert is the way the experts consistently utilize their mind and body with power. I would focus on the vulnerable areas that I could attack and the defence that I could use to incapacitate or facilitate my escape rather than focus on how I can get hurt.
Imagine if soldiers focused on size of the enemy’s bayonets rather than focusing on seeing the whites of the enemy’s eyes before letting off a volley. It’s like the camera in the movie of your life which can also zoom in and make your fears appear larger and more compelling. The feeling of being able to take control of a violent affray or a sudden threat has a huge impact on the quality of my life. This has a lot to do with how I focus my mind to control my state.
It is a matter of using the correct internal dialogue to evaluate things. Rather than asking why this is happening, evaluate the meaning and what needs to be done. That way you are in a warrior mental state rather than a victim state. After the incident focus on what can be learned from all this to be able to grow from the experience. I believe there is no such thing as a bad experience; it’s just constant learning process.
I always try to get my students focus on what is possible. I once had a student whose pelvis was broken in a car wreck. He could kick no higher than waist height. By focussing on what was possible and working with him in changing his mental focus, his physical and emotional state I was able to get him breaking wooden boards with a back kick for his Taekwondo blue belt grading. Something he never thought he would ever achieve with his permanent injury. Controlling on what we focus on we can make ourselves much more effective.
I always ask myself how can I get this done and enjoy the process. If I focused on my own niggling doubts, difficult would become impossible. Success to me is finding pleasure in life and continuing to grow; failure is finding pain in life no matter how good it gets. We can control that with the things that we focus our minds on.